: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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