The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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