David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard