Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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