Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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