There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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