Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
