If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
