Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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