i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize