i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
