Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my shit smells like andre
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
