That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize