If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
