I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
