did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
