Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
