Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
