I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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