How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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