I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
