Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
