***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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