Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
