Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize