TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
