remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
