i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
