Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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