awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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