Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
