I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
