I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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