moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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