none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize