Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
