I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
