I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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