I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I didn't notice because vodka
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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