Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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