I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish life had little blips of pornography
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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