That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize