I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
