Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
