Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
