He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
