I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
