VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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