hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want to have your abortion
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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