Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
