I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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