its not stalking. its research.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
