i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
