I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize