Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
