I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize