I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
