Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
