Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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