Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize