We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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