i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
