Buhtt sex?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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