help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
