Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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