just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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