He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
