Duck Duck Cougar?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
