I want to make a zoo with you.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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