Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
