no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
