I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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