I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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