my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
