I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize