Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
