yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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