Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
